Issues of Morality

In response to the email I sent out to all my close friends and family, inviting them to be extras, I immediately received the following:

PLEASE NOTE HOME OF PEACE IS ALWAYS CLOSE ON SATURDAYS BECAUSE OF JEWISH SABBATH.

IT IS NOT ADVISABLE TO SHOOT FILM ON SATURDAY AT HOME OF PEACE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW DID YOU GET THE PERMISSION.

PLEASE CHECK AND LET EVERYONE KNOW

This came from my cousin Ben.  He is not actually my first cousin - he is my mother's first cousin, so I don't know what that makes him to me.  Second cousin?  First cousin second removed?  He is about 58 years old, never married, and still lives with his mother.  He came to this country from Israel when he was 17, and in spite of over 40 years in the United States, he still speaks and writes with a distinctive Israeli accent.  Let it be noted, though, that he is a prominent and successful Real Estate Agent who has also served as a Commissioner in the City of Los Angeles.

He has also been in and out of Court - both Small Claims and Superior - more times than I can count.

Now, Ben had every right to request that I not film at the cemetery on Saturday.  He is a strict follower of our Jewish faith, and an active Synagogue member.  I admire anyone who follows a code of ethics for the betterment of mankind, whether it is self-prompted or a religious dictate.  However, I personally feel that many of the laws and commandments from the Old Testament are either antiquated or inaccurate.  If one were to rigidly follow all Jewish law, Jewish doctors would not be allowed to operate on Gentiles.  If modern men were to emulate the lifestyles of our greatest Old Testament prophets, they would be able to take in various concubines.  I could go on an on, but the point is that one needs to consider the spirit and intent of the law in question.  None of my cast and crew observe the Jewish Sabbath on Saturday, and no one who did would be at the cemetery on that day to be disturbed by us. No harm, no foul.

However, Ben felt himself to be the self-appointed guardian and enforcer of All Things Jewish, and was hell-bent on keeping me out of the cemetery on Saturday.  The above email was sent not only to me, but it was "reply-alled" to every one of my friends and family members.  I was appalled that he would not only interfere with my professional plans, but portray me as a heathen in front of everyone I knew.

And just in case I wasn't checking my email every 5 seconds, Ben called me immediately after his poison-penned email to tell me that the cemetery was breaking all the rules, that he is going to tell the Temple Board of Directors that this is
absolutely not allowed and that they are going to break all affiliation with the cemetery, that ALL the synagogues are going to be pissed off and break their ties with the cemetery, and that I am going to be all over the news for causing this.  I just told him, "Ben, I respect that you feel morally obligated to oppose this, so do what you have to do."  .. and congratulating myself on my calm composure, especially considering that I take medication for impulsive anger issues.

Ben managed to escalate the issue and make enough threatening phone calls and emails, including to what he claims was the entire Sephardic community, that the cemetery directors apologetically asked me to please reschedule the shooting days.  I complied, because they had been so accommodating to me, and I did not want them to get in trouble with the very community that they service.

I even attempted to explain to Ben that I would never do anything to disrespect the cemetery I loved and hoped to be buried in someday next to my parents. He replied:
"The reason your parents are buried in Home of Peace and Shustermans have reservation is because of me.  My Temple have agreement with home of peace only members of the sephardic Temple can be buried at Home of Peace in the sephardic section. Your parents were never member of the temple thru my influence Hy sold your parents a plot and Shustermans a reservation."

I don't know about you, but that sounds like Sorry Lisa, you're not getting a plot near your parents without me to pull strings for you.  I was beyond grief!! He was holding my future resting place next to my parents over me?!!

To put the icing on the cake, Ben threatened my husband Craig and cousin Marla with slander, for things they said when they found out how cruelly manipulative he was.

So, what began as a scheduling debacle was now an eternal condemnation and potential lawsuit.  Thanks Ben!!!